The Liberal Elite

Recently, I’ve focused on the professional aspects of publications in different genres and platforms, but I’ve also neglected one of the most powerful: the website. So, instead of sending this satire into The Breeze, JMU’s student newspaper, I thought I would share it with you, my loyal writer audience. Without further ado:


“Now watch what you say, or they’ll be calling you a radical.
Liberal, fanatical, criminal.”
Supertramp, “The Logical Song”

It’s morning in Freedomville. At last, our enemy has revealed itself.

No, not you, logic-lovers. You’re only pawns in the web. No, liberty is under threat from the liberal elite. They’ve come within one syllable of stealing my favorite word: eels.

It’s my fault, really. I should’ve seen this coming from the day I came out of the womb red, white, and blue. The doctors said they had never seen a skin condition so bad, only showing my dedication to suffer for this country.

More satire!

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“We Don’t Talk About That”

*Disclaimer: This is completely off the cuff. I was spurred to write this following images I viewed only moments ago that both shocked and outraged me, even more so for the lack of regard they’re shown.*Blood in the Water

The news media industry is fickle at best, we’ve all heard this. We’ve known it for years. Indeed, some of the greatest satirists are those that can reveal the biases and miniscule attention span of the media (such as Colbert with his classic “Blood in the Water” segments). Don’t buy that the news tends to focus on the flashy, new story and ditch the old content?

How often have you heard the words “Breaking News” and perked up in interest? I know I do, I’ll admit that bias. The whole premise of the news is to bring you new content, hence the name. I get that. But this runs into problems when the media focuses on solely new stories and forgets overnight anything of impact that didn’t happen in the last 24 hours.

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The Evolution of Technology

Everyone wonders when the next groundbreaking device will be debuted, like the iPhone and the laptops of the past. But, whilst reveling deep in the archives of my favorite show, I stumbled upon the untapped potential of the future of human communication. Introducing, from the geniuses of Colbert Labs, the “Bucket.”

The Bucket

The Bucket in Action

Taking “living vicariously” to a whole new dimension, Stephen Colbert tours Times Square using FaceTime and an iPad, able to interact with his fellow New Yorkers without actually being anywhere near them. Of course, remove the physical aspect (and any potential threats/reason to be cautious) and he manages to cause quite a ruckus in typical Colbert style. Continue reading

Explorations in Music #2

Springsteen the Politico

Before I even say anything else, just listen to perhaps his most well-known artwork. You’re probably saying, “Artwork? But this is just a song.” Trust me, there’s much more to it.

Now, I know the undertones of this piece are quite noticeable to the trained listener, and I’m certainly not the first to talk about the message here, but it still bears repeating. Continue reading

Scorn of the USA #2

Today’s enemy of the American Dream is another insidious trend in this increasingly interconnected age of social media and communication. We all have those friends, those beings who speak in these weird codes that we sort of understand yet wonder what they’re really trying to say. That’s right, the newest insurgent threat is acronyms.

These aren’t everyday acronyms such as “EPA” or “IRS” (though those are scary in a different way). These are the texting acronyms “LOL”, “BRB”, “G2G”, and onwards into a horrifying continuum of more and more simplified, dulled down forms of communication. But to truly understand these corrupting abbreviations, we must travel back in time, into the history of a now past decade. To the 2000s!
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Scorn of the USA #1

(Someday this’ll make a great title for a Bruce Springsteen parody. Someday.)

A great tragedy has befallen this even greater nation; Stephen Colbert’s final episode of The Colbert Report aired this Thursday, December 18 at 11:30 p.m. I’m sure we’ll all remember where we were at that fateful moment.

Personally, I was getting ready for bed so I could be up and refreshed for a 9:00 a.m. shift at work. I made sure to record it though. What? Don’t look at me that way. I’m a fan, not a fanatic. My own emotions aside, disregarding the fact that I grew up with this man, the political messiah to me over the years, we all lost something truly enlightening that Thursday. Continue reading